I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
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