he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
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