There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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