I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
I want to have your abortion
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Randomize
