doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
