do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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