i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
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