the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
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He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
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