you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
