I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
