two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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