Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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