I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
