she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
