the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize