Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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