dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
