They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
