he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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