He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
not ubering you a puppy
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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