Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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