Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
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