It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Randomize
