He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize