I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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