Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Randomize
