she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
