Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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