I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Randomize
