Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
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I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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