Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize