Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Randomize
