Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
Sober January is a disaster.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Randomize
