Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
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