Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Randomize
