wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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