The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
