so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Randomize
