She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Randomize
