If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
