All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize