Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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