Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Randomize