Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
not ubering you a puppy
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
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