i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
I woke up under a house in Key West
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