Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
My life is pants optional.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
