I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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