Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
