Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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