Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
