I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
