How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
