he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
