I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Randomize