So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
