i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize
