i'm lost and i look like a hooker
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
