the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I stole a fireplace last night.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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