At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
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Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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