She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
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