Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Randomize
