Yo dont text me then not text me
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
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