its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
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