What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
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Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
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All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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